The Body Blog: The Climb of Your Life

This morning on the radio, I heard one of my favorite songs, Edwin McCain’s I’ll Be, which has a great line in it: "I’ll be better when I’m older…" It got me thinking about age and perspective. It seems throughout early life, all we wish is to be older. It’s as if we are climbing a ladder and life will truly begin once we reach that next rung.

So I want you to perform a thought experiment: climb down the ladder and go back in time. Try to recapture your perspective as you ventured forth on your ascent.

When we’re small, all we want is to be big. And the way to get bigger is to accumulate birthdays. That’s why kids will never respond with “four” or “seven” when asked their age. They are “four and a half” or “seven and three-quarters!” Ask any kid and I bet they tack on that imperative fraction. But childhood is not a time to rush. Important things are happening in our little bodies. Although our growth rates are no match for the rapid development of infancy, we will still chalk up about two inches per year until we hit adolescence. Aside from growing, our bones are fusing, our teeth are erupting, and our brains are making critical connections that will help us read, write and express ourselves throughout our lifetimes.

Then comes the day our birthday cakes boast double-digit candles. It’s a magical time, adolescence. Hormones are raging, new hair is sprouting, and suddenly our bodies possess strange and wonderful abilities (especially if you sport a penis). And how do we respond to these mystical metamorphisms? By wanting to be a grownup, so we can take them out for a test drive. As teens we crave independence, the chance to make our own decisions, to be taken seriously as adults. We long to be part of adult society: by voting, serving in the military, and buying beer. As for our bodies, growth is winding down, the last of our molars are settling in (or being yanked by a dentist), and our reproductive capacities are given their final tweaks in preparation for parenthood.

When we finally make it to our twenties, a strange thing happens. Suddenly, the climb accelerates. Those rungs on the ladder go slipping by, greased by some unseen hand. You barely enjoy the freedom of maturity before thirty rears its ugly head. You are shocked to find yourself a parent and can’t quite remember how you got here. You’re saddled with a job, a spouse, and a mortgage, and before you know it, Hello, forty!

Forty arrives and you take a look around from your lofty perch and can’t believe how high you’ve climbed. The air is cooler, it’s easier to breathe, now that you’ve gained some perspective, and many of those imperative life decisions are behind you. Think of all you’ve learned! You look back with wonder at the antics of your youth: the foolish stunts you pulled, the poor judgment you exercised. It’s a wonder you made it this far. And just as you’re settling into this comfy locale, fifty arrives and practically knocks you from your rungs.

How can I be half a century old? you ask yourself. Impossible! Why, just yesterday, I was graduating from high school. How could this much time elapse without my noticing? And as for that view from the ladder - we’re talkin’ nosebleeds! The horizon stretches before you in a hazy blur, the objects on the ground, miniscule. You think back to your previous ideas of fifty and realize you were wrong all along. Fifty's not old! you tell yourself. Sixty, maybe, or seventy, if I’m lucky to make it that far. Besides, if I live to be one hundred, I’m only halfway there! Take a deep breath…

As someone who recently bid farewell to her forties, I cannot lend further perspective on the ladder of life. I’m still climbing, careful as I go. The best advice I can give is to enjoy each and every rung. Yes, you’ll be challenged along the way, by love, loss, and hardship, but the higher you go, the luckier you are.

Although the rungs of our youth grow small beneath our feet, always remember: the view from the top is mighty fine.

I’ll be your crying shoulder

I’ll be love’s suicide

I’ll be better when I’m older

I’ll be the greatest fan of your life….

Edwin McCain